Growth

I always find it interesting how times that are difficult, produce moments of clarity. Drew has been working crazy hours lately and is currently working out of town until Thursday. While this is great for our checking account, I do not enjoy missing out on time with my husband. One plus of this time has been that I have gotten to spend much more time with my sweet sister. Like my good friend Jenna I too have been feeling the need to reach out to my younger sister and be more of a mentor.

High school is sometimes fun, but for the most part it is tons of unnecessary drama. My struggles in high school are different from the ones she experiences, but at the same time struggles are struggles. I wrestle with being too hard on her, with trying to make her too much like me; and I realize that instead of doing those things I should just model Christ and if I am successful in that then maybe she will not mimic me, but Christ in me.

In my quiet time I have been reading in 1 Samuel, and I can see the people of Israel and I have more in common than I would like. I fall away and God brings me back, I try to trust in myself, God shows me I can’t do it without Him. Just like the children on Israel wanted a visible leader in their lives, I sometimes struggle with not “feeling” God. As if somehow my not feeling Him makes Him any less there. He is always there, I am the one who has moved, I am the one who isn’t listening. Nine times out of ten God is speaking to me, I am just not listening. These are the things God is showing me, and it is both humbling and exciting. I don’t enjoy reproof, but knowing that I don’t have to do it by myself gives me strength. Like I have said in the past, I love to learn, and I am taking these lessons as just another thing God is teaching me.

I understand that there are some things you just have to learn for yourself, but I hope that perhaps God is teaching me and molding me, so that I can help Michaela bypass many of the struggles and frustrations that I have had to deal with. I  don’t want her to have to deal with that falling away and coming back, I want her to stay strong in the Lord. I want to be an encouragement rather than a discouragement. I want her to look to me more as a sister in Christ, than a a sister in life.

These are the things I am learning…