Random thoughts on a hectic Tuesday

Ok so most of my readers already know that Thursday, I came home from school to find our back door kicked in and most of our valuable belongings gone. This being said I will not make those of you who have heard the details of that horrible day numerous times (ie. Jenna) endure another telling of the missing items and such. I will however make a plea in hopes that if the person who stole our other laptop looks at our computer history and reads this they will return my Grandma’s spoon collection in a box on my front porch, I will also settle for a Wal-Mart bag. The spoons have no monetary value, only sentimental. Of all the things that were taken, the spoons are the most devastating. I mean beyond the fact that I still feel like my house is not my own anymore, I feel like another piece of my Grandma has been taken from me. Like I am losing her all over again. I suppose in a sense, every time I polished those spoons she was in a still here. I understand that she will always be in my heart and I still have her wedding ring as a reminder, but the spoons and their significance can never be put into words.

Many of you have asked if there is anything that you can do for us, right now just pray that the people who did this will be brought to justice, that somehow I will get at least some of the spoons back, and that God will give me peace in my home again. It seems like right now the only way I get through getting ready in the mornings is to pray and recite “What time I am afraid I will trust in Thee.” I know I can’t get over this on my own, but with God’s help and your prayers Drew and I both will feel safe again.

My daddy keeps telling me that perhaps some good will come of this, and I keep trying to find it. So far all I have come up with is that Drew and I were not here when the act occurred and now our house will be more secure due to some hard work on both my daddy and Drew’s part.

I do have to say a special thank you to my sweet mamma who spent Friday morning cleaning the floors, kitchen and living room for me. For those of you who don’t know I am highly allergic to dust and am unable to sweep and dust without going into coughing and sneezing fits. I am so thankful for her working so hard to get rid of the robber germs, in an attempt to make me feel more comfortable…it did help. To my daddy thank you for coming to my rescue when I found the door ajar and for helping Drew with everything. I also have to thank Drew for doing everything he can to make me feel safe again, I suppose that is another positive of this event…I am learning to appreciate Drew more and more as my tangible protector, and I can see evidence of his love for me in the way he has gone above and beyond, being understanding and sensitive to how I am feeling right now. Finally thank you for all those who asked about us on Facebook and in person. Both of us appreciate your concern and prayers.

I think we still have a long road ahead of us with insurance and such; and hopefully with a trial later on. I am just thankful I have so many loving people and the Lord to get us through.

School work is slowly sucking the life out of me

This is what my night after church looks like, and then my day tomorrow until my History test at 3:35. While I love school, this week I haven’t been feeling it, and quite frankly Thanksgiving break can’t be here soon enough. Prayers for my diligence in the area of school would be greatly appreciated.

Growth

I always find it interesting how times that are difficult, produce moments of clarity. Drew has been working crazy hours lately and is currently working out of town until Thursday. While this is great for our checking account, I do not enjoy missing out on time with my husband. One plus of this time has been that I have gotten to spend much more time with my sweet sister. Like my good friend Jenna I too have been feeling the need to reach out to my younger sister and be more of a mentor.

High school is sometimes fun, but for the most part it is tons of unnecessary drama. My struggles in high school are different from the ones she experiences, but at the same time struggles are struggles. I wrestle with being too hard on her, with trying to make her too much like me; and I realize that instead of doing those things I should just model Christ and if I am successful in that then maybe she will not mimic me, but Christ in me.

In my quiet time I have been reading in 1 Samuel, and I can see the people of Israel and I have more in common than I would like. I fall away and God brings me back, I try to trust in myself, God shows me I can’t do it without Him. Just like the children on Israel wanted a visible leader in their lives, I sometimes struggle with not “feeling” God. As if somehow my not feeling Him makes Him any less there. He is always there, I am the one who has moved, I am the one who isn’t listening. Nine times out of ten God is speaking to me, I am just not listening. These are the things God is showing me, and it is both humbling and exciting. I don’t enjoy reproof, but knowing that I don’t have to do it by myself gives me strength. Like I have said in the past, I love to learn, and I am taking these lessons as just another thing God is teaching me.

I understand that there are some things you just have to learn for yourself, but I hope that perhaps God is teaching me and molding me, so that I can help Michaela bypass many of the struggles and frustrations that I have had to deal with. I  don’t want her to have to deal with that falling away and coming back, I want her to stay strong in the Lord. I want to be an encouragement rather than a discouragement. I want her to look to me more as a sister in Christ, than a a sister in life.

These are the things I am learning… 

I love an anniversary

As most of you know, Drew and I had an anniversary about two weeks ago, and because he was working we weren’t able to go anywhere. We knew that we needed to get new phones soon, so we decided that this would be our gift for each other. (In all honesty it was Drew’s gift to us both, but what’s his is mine right?) At any rate, we went to Verizon after church last night and got the new phones.

It is here that I must insert how technologically inept I am. Almost anything I know about computers I learned from someone else, and as far as our DVR goes I can record and watch what I recorded and that is about it. Drew is constantly doing things with the TV or computer and I am like how did you do that? His reply: “You just hit this button.” or “It’s easy you just…” Needless to say I never figure it out and will forever be reliant on his technical skills. It amazes me how old school I am. I have done much better since I started college, but in all honesty my 40-something dad knows light-years more than I ever will about all this stuff. I am supposed to be a part of the new generation, the ones who grew up on video games and VCR’s. This is not the case, in fact I had trouble with the gray Nintendo that we had for all of about a year. I was never into that stuff, I suppose I had better things to do, like I don’t know READ A BOOK.

All that was said to say that I am no longer a part of the world of simply talk and text, but rather a part of the smart phone world. I got a Droid X. Surprisingly enough, I have figured out quite a bit. I am actually quite proud of myself. I don’t know how I lived without it. I am quickly becoming one of those people. You know the ones, constantly checking their Facebook or the weather. If an issue comes up that needs clarification, don’t worry I can find it on my phone. I can see how someone can get addicted to this type of phone very fast, so if you see me and I look like I need to be slapped back into reality…please do so.

Bright Star

About a year ago, Jenna and I saw a movie called Bright Star. It is the epically tragic love story of John Keats and Fanny Brawne. Just thinking about it now makes me want to cry a little.

Despite the tragedy of the true tale, some beautiful love letters were produced. This is one of them:

To Fanny Brawne:
I cannot exist without you - I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again - my life seems to stop there - I see no further. You have absorb'd me.
I have a sensation at the present moment as though I were dissolving ....I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for religion - I have shudder'd at it - I shudder no more - I could be martyr'd for my religion - love is my religion - I could die for that - I could die for you. My creed is love and you are its only tenet - you have ravish'd me away by a power I cannot resist.
- John Keats

John Keats (1795 - 1821) led a short but brilliant life. At the age of 23 he met and fell in love with Fanny Brawne, literally the girl next door. Tragically, doctors had already diagnosed the tuberculosis which would eventually kill him, so their marriage became an impossibility. www.theromantic.com/LoveLetters/main.htm

I love words and I love, love. This letter makes my heart happy.

my random thoughts for thursday

Today I had a really random epiphany. PUBLIC RESTROOMS ARE WEIRD!!! I mean think about it you go into a room WITH OTHER PEOPLE get half naked and then take part in a very private moment. This is not to say that I won't be using public restrooms anymore, but it is just a thought I had. Also why are there only half walls? Is this for people who are clausterphobic? I feel like it would make me much more comfortable if the walls went all the way up and all the way down. This added "wallage" would add more privacy and make it less weird. I am amazed that it has taken me 22 years to realize how odd this practice is. Is is necessary? A resounding YES, but it is still strange that we have huge rooms dedicated to this "shared experience". Am I the only one who thinks this?

One year

So here is my anniversary blog a bit late. Drew and I began our weekend on Saturday by going to the Auburn game. We had a great time. Sunday (our actual anniversary), Drew had to work, so we didn’t really do anything. I went to lunch with my sweet friends Jenna and Tori. It was a good anniversary lunch even if Drew wasn’t present. When Drew got home we grilled steaks and had salad and baked potatoes.

I can’t believe we have been married for a year! Everyone says the first year is the hardest, but we have really had an easy go of it. Drew is an easy going guy anyway, so I am sure that has contributed a bit. Another factor has been that God has truly blessed us this year. I didn’t know how I would do with cooking and cleaning and just being a good wife and student. Somehow it has all worked out and my cooking hasn’t made Drew sick yet. There has only really been one bad meal, and Drew even ate it. I attempted to make a Paula Dean chicken pot pie…it was more like goo with crust…I have since gotten a much easier AND tastier recipe from Drew’s mom. It has been an awesome year, and God has not only blessed OUR marriage, but blessed me with an AMAZING husband. No one else listens and puts up with my craziness like Drew does…I love being married and can’t wait to see what the future has in store.