There is an old white church on a country road not far from my house. This church is a place in which my pappa preached hundreds of sermons, a place where my grandma played the piano and taught me Sunday School. It is the building my parents first went to church in as babies, the building they pledged their love and lives to each other in; it is the place where both my grandparents, one set of great grandparents and an aunt are buried. To me this has always been a sacred place, a place where all could be right with the world and a place where God’s presence must surely be. Having said all that, this place that I have held so dear is now someone’s home.
I have long struggled with this fact and wonder how a place once meant to shepherd God’s flock could ultimately become a house of sin. I’ve wondered why the powers that be allowed this to happen, I have also wondered why those who now reside there would desecrate a place that they know the significance of. All these thoughts and musings have become a point of bitterness in my life.
Today I was presented with a situation in which I was forced to face those who have taken that place I love so much and have transformed it into a place I can barely stand to look at. Initially my flesh told me to either avoid the situation all together or tell this person what an awful thing they have done. I could have done these things and to tell you the truth I wanted to, but instead I chose to pray. I prayed that God would guard my tongue and allow me to be calm in the face of this situation. As I prayed, it was as if God spoke to me and said “Kimberly, you know that it is just a building. I haven’t been there for a very long time, and as much as you want them to be your grandparents aren’t there either. You need to let go.”
I must say it was a moment of clarity. A moment in which my bitterness melted away, and I felt truly convicted. While I still long for the glory days that building had and I long to see it returned to its former state as a house of worship, I understand that it is JUST a building. God’s hand has long been removed and my sin of anger is equal to those living in that place I once called sacred. I don’t tell you this to tell you how spiritual I am (because I frankly have a long way to go) nor do I tell you this to say that I even behaved in a manner that I should have. I still felt myself being short with this individual and got out of the situation as quickly as I could. I failed on so many levels, and I realize that.
I tell you this story to tell you that I realized something today. I have so idolized my grandparents and their life of service that I have made the places and things they were a part of, a sort of shrine to them. So much of who they were, made me who I am and has influenced many of the decisions I have made in life. I am thankful for who they were and that they made Christ the center of their lives, but all this time I think I have been missing the point. Rather trying to be more like them, I need to be more like HIM, the one who made them who they were. Rather than putting all my passion into preserving the earthly things they left behind I need to foster the spiritual things they taught me. I need to be sharing Christ with those around me, I need to be serving in the church through music and through teaching both children and youth. God clearly gave me a love for both of those things and I know that much of that comes from the love my grandparents had for those things as well. So while I am serving Christ I am also honoring those precious heroes of the faith as well.
Yes, today God opened my eyes to things I didn’t want to see. He showed me that things are just that—things. And while I need to hold on to some things my grandparents left behind, that place down the road isn’t one of them, because after all it is JUST a building.
